The past 5 weeks have FLOWN!
I can't believe my little girl is growing so fast!
I have noticed more hair on her lil head, longer eyelashes, she definitely has DADDYS toes (for those of you who don't know, my darling hubby has size 15 shoes!!! ahh) and she has quite the personality!! But, I love it more and more each day!
Looks like I will be going back to work early per the bosses request.... and as much as I hate to go back to work at all... It will be nice to be back in a routine. I just worry so much, that I will miss something-- or not see something I need to. I have to watch her VERY carefully. The other day, Bella was struggling a little to breathe and her leg was blue. She gets blue when she cries (thus spoiling her by picking her up each time- but I don't want her to loose her breath!) and we have another Cardio appt. on Friday to talk to the DR about it. My other baby (almost 8 yr old baby) will get and echo done as well.... just to put my mind at ease. I know he (and myself) have a heart murmur I just pray its innocent like mine!
I also know as wonderful as my husband is... no one can take care of my baby like mommy. Guess he will see what a stay at home dad's day is really like =) I have faith he will do well.... I just don't want to miss a thing!
It has been an emotional, demanding, exciting, sad, unsure rollercoaster of mixed emotions these past few weeks. (Still kind of are "baby blues" really do stink! I am sure all the people I have looked at in the cafeteria, Publix, gas station...restaurants probably think I am some wacko emotionally unstable woman!!! Hate to say it, but they are partially right. Cant wait to get thru all this & back to my own self SOON! I think a lot of it came because I do feel a little cheated that I didn't get those "extra" days with her while on maternity leave because we were in the hospital but I will get over it.
Reading thru some of the blogs on heart babies, and thru some heart baby communities I am reading thru on various FB sites, and websites.... I seem to find the saddest ones =( I pray every night for all the heart babies in the world... and I just ask God to keep Bella's heart strong & getting stronger. Good thing, there is quite a few resources for heart families out there... cause this is all SO scary! I freaked when my son had tubes put in, I don't even want to think about how I will be when my lil girl has open heart surgeries. =*( <<sigh>>
Will end this on a positive note though..... we.are.so.blessed. <3 amen!
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